Edubabble and other Blither

The first time I saw The Godfather I think I was in high school. I read the book my freshman year in college. Like most Godfather devotees, I dismissed Godfather III as “just not the same, man!” I agreed with those who denounced Sofia Coppola’s acting but hailed her later directorial pursuits. I compared the Corleone family’s roots to my own and discovered there wasn’t much of a comparison.

My hometown, however, now there’s a good old-fashioned mafia town… in my mind. When I was a young girl, I wanted little else but to be ethnic in some way. I wanted shiny, big blue-black hair. I wanted a confirmation dress. I wanted tons of cousins who’d breaka you face to keep my honor from being besmirched. Is Rust Belt Town full of the mafia? Could be. With its bigger cousin, just across the state border, getting mentioned in The Sopranos, you never know. Black Hand Society? Documented in the Legends of Rust, Volume 1.

Moving to Dogpatch didn’t remove me from the reaches of this Cosa Nostra. Once while visiting Rust Belt and, like always, hanging out in the bar of the family restaurant waiting for my mother and stepfather to get a minute free from work to talk, I struck up a conversation with an older gentleman. “Where ya from?” he rasped, then coughed. I told him. He laughed and shook his head knowingly. “You know Treasure Woods?” he winked, referring to Dogpatch’s gated “resort” community, having something for the whole family. “ We built that, hon, and I think you know who I mean by we.”

I’m currently obsessed with HBO’s The Wire. Tripper and I like most of HBO’s series. (Unlike me, Tripper was not obsessed with Sex and the City.) The Wire is about real people in Baltimore—cops, gangs, teachers, working class, and kids. We also watch The Sopranos and Deadwood, and I love, love, love Big Love. (Note to all of you out there: don’t call us on Sunday night unless it’s an emergency.) I’m starting to believe that someone at HBO, like me, wanted a romantic tie to organized crime. Deadwood? Organized crime in the Old West. The Sopranos? Self-explanatory. Big Love? Mormon organized crime tossed with kinky family unit in suburbia.

I’ve decided that the whole world is like the Mafia. At our middle school, my principal is Tony Soprano, head of the Family. His boss, our superintendent, is head of all the Families (Johnny Sack?) What does that make me? Tripper has suggested that I’m Pauly or the one played by Little Stevie Van Zant (spelling, PG?) of the E Street Band. My crew? The 8th grade English Department. Ah, a little power…. A very, very little. Sigh.

My principal and I were speaking the other day of a colleague, a real pain in the ass, and an incompetent one at that. “You want me to step in?” he asked. “Nah,” I said. “Jones is manageable. I’ll take care of it.” He may just get whacked.