Wednesday, January 28, 2009
The Storm after the Calm
It seems I've lost Sister of the Year again. Man, how do I do that? I am __________ (insert name of your favorite Oscar-snubbed actor here) when it comes to daughter, sister, or aunt of the year. Yesterday during study hall, I received a text from my mother. "Heads up. Vic is upset. Call me on my cell." This made me long for the days when one didn't know instaneously that someone was really pissed.
When I found time to talk to her, I learned what I had done. I told Vic after we sold the house that I would take a personal day and go to the lawyer's to take care of what needed to be taken care of for the inheritance taxes. She was relieved. Vic has very little sick time at the moment-- Dad, her bout with MRSA, and her kids' bouts with MRSA have drained her available time off. She hasn't been with the Agency very long, but I have 120 sick days and 3.5 personal days which I was happy to use to help her in any way. This was something I could do, this was a clear way I could help. I was happy. (Of course, I was happy to be able to pay the freaking $800 to get rid of that house, and look how well that offer was received.)
Vic mentioned that the inheritance taxes could be offset by our nursing home and funeral expenses. I told her, "When you gather up that paperwork, let me know, and I'll take care of it." I reiterated my position at Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's. "Let me know when you have those papers ready." She wasn't sure of our timeline-- 9 months after the death or after the sale of the house. "Let me know," I said. The lawyer is a friend of her husband.
She didn't. Instead, when my mom arrived at Vic's house to babysit, Vic stormed around. "Now I have to go to the lawyer why do I have to ask her it has to be done by Thursday no one would help me this summer don't talk to me about this summer ..."
"Didn't Chrissy say to call her when the stuff was ready?" my mom asked. Vic shouldn't have to call me, it appears. She's not my mother, you know.
My mother tried to stick up for me, citing the fact that Vic did indeed have help this summer, but she wouldn't exactly allow people to do much. My brother-in-law tried to help, too, saying, "Vic, just call Chrissy. She said she'd do it." They had a big fight about it. Everyone has been rather reluctant to say much to Vic, to say anything that might upset her. That doesn't leave much, unfortunately. That's why I hadn't called to ask her about the paperwork. I was afraid it would appear that I was nagging. I didn't want to pressure her.
The best part is that I can't really call Vic about this, as my mom doesn't want to get in trouble for telling me. (We're all afraid, see?) I did send an email-- It's just about nine months after Daddy passed. Do we need to do the inheritance now or nine months after the house sale? I can go to the lawyer's any day this week. I haven't heard back.
I'm not rolling over. I don't want to fight, never do, but this is ridiculous. She's had a really hard time with Dad's death, and every time we came to an end of something was dramatic-- the end of the house, the headstone, and now this, the very end of it all.
Meanwhile, I got an iPod, and people are right when they say they don't work all that well with PCs. Damn. We got more RAM, but it's not helping much. My computer is five years old, and it came with a maximum capacity of 1 gig, so I guess I shouldn't be so surprised. When we got the computer, we didn't have a digital camera, didn't do Facebook, didn't have an iPod. Didn't really have a virtual life.
Today's a snowday, and I really haven't had anything but a virtual life. I should go be productive or something. Really.
When I found time to talk to her, I learned what I had done. I told Vic after we sold the house that I would take a personal day and go to the lawyer's to take care of what needed to be taken care of for the inheritance taxes. She was relieved. Vic has very little sick time at the moment-- Dad, her bout with MRSA, and her kids' bouts with MRSA have drained her available time off. She hasn't been with the Agency very long, but I have 120 sick days and 3.5 personal days which I was happy to use to help her in any way. This was something I could do, this was a clear way I could help. I was happy. (Of course, I was happy to be able to pay the freaking $800 to get rid of that house, and look how well that offer was received.)
Vic mentioned that the inheritance taxes could be offset by our nursing home and funeral expenses. I told her, "When you gather up that paperwork, let me know, and I'll take care of it." I reiterated my position at Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's. "Let me know when you have those papers ready." She wasn't sure of our timeline-- 9 months after the death or after the sale of the house. "Let me know," I said. The lawyer is a friend of her husband.
She didn't. Instead, when my mom arrived at Vic's house to babysit, Vic stormed around. "Now I have to go to the lawyer why do I have to ask her it has to be done by Thursday no one would help me this summer don't talk to me about this summer ..."
"Didn't Chrissy say to call her when the stuff was ready?" my mom asked. Vic shouldn't have to call me, it appears. She's not my mother, you know.
My mother tried to stick up for me, citing the fact that Vic did indeed have help this summer, but she wouldn't exactly allow people to do much. My brother-in-law tried to help, too, saying, "Vic, just call Chrissy. She said she'd do it." They had a big fight about it. Everyone has been rather reluctant to say much to Vic, to say anything that might upset her. That doesn't leave much, unfortunately. That's why I hadn't called to ask her about the paperwork. I was afraid it would appear that I was nagging. I didn't want to pressure her.
The best part is that I can't really call Vic about this, as my mom doesn't want to get in trouble for telling me. (We're all afraid, see?) I did send an email-- It's just about nine months after Daddy passed. Do we need to do the inheritance now or nine months after the house sale? I can go to the lawyer's any day this week. I haven't heard back.
I'm not rolling over. I don't want to fight, never do, but this is ridiculous. She's had a really hard time with Dad's death, and every time we came to an end of something was dramatic-- the end of the house, the headstone, and now this, the very end of it all.
Meanwhile, I got an iPod, and people are right when they say they don't work all that well with PCs. Damn. We got more RAM, but it's not helping much. My computer is five years old, and it came with a maximum capacity of 1 gig, so I guess I shouldn't be so surprised. When we got the computer, we didn't have a digital camera, didn't do Facebook, didn't have an iPod. Didn't really have a virtual life.
Today's a snowday, and I really haven't had anything but a virtual life. I should go be productive or something. Really.
# posted by Chrissy Snow @ 1/28/2009 09:07:00 AM 
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She said it didn't really take long. We sent a couple emails back and forth about who was supposed to do what, but she rightly said that it was pointless. All is well again.
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